More Than Yours

More than this
Less that yours
Not enough
Or just too much
Still left wanting more
I should be what I once was
Not for you
Not for love
But just for me.
Why do I try,
and prod and pry?
Just to feel again...
But there's no feeling
Left instead
Is what was once me
But now lays dead
Still this voice
Inside my head
Talking, shouting, screaming
"Don't shut me out you bitch
I'll help you quit feeling!!"
But that is just a voice
With no hands hands to claw with
No eyes to see with
It hides waiting for me
Wanting to be set free
Yet I refrain
Uncertain how to live
That way again
Always feeling
Never moving
Once cynical and Jaded
That hardness has since faded
I want it back
I need it back
I'll have it back
But at what cost?
All I want is to be me
And all I am is lost...